Monday, April 11, 2022

It Turns Out Vikings Are Kind of Boring (Severed Ways Review)


Severed Ways: The Norse Discovery of America starring Fiore Tedesco and Tony Stone



Two Norsemen get left behind when the rest of the group gets attacked and assumes they are dead
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So.  This sounds interesting in theory.  But.  Some of the camera work actually makes it hard to watch sometimes.  It is really shaky (it does calm down a little later but is always jumpy) and there are some really fast pans that your eyes just can't follow.  Then there are the shots of the ground and random trees like no one is looking through the camera to see what is being filmed and the extreme close-ups where we stare at a man's forehead or chin for half a minute.  And then when we can see the Norsemen most of the time we just watch them plod through the woods.  Or chop down six trees.  I got the point after two trees.  I didn't have to see them all.  And then there are the scenes where literally nothing is happening and we watch them sit for minutes at a time.  And when you get a close up of a man's behind as he defecates in the woods I almost gave up on it right there.  I kind of wish I did.  Because it never got any better.  Or more interesting.  It may have been real and gritty as some reviews have said but it was not entertaining in any way.

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