Feel the Burn

So, after thirty odd years of sitting on the sofa reading books and eating potato chips I decided it was time to start exercising. I’m fat and out of shape and it sounded like a healthy idea. Besides I was tired of huffing and puffing after climbing any flight of stairs more than three steps or so. I didn’t seek professional help or anything. I just decided to use all those fitness DVDs that are available. This is a very daunting task. There are a lot of fitness programs available in a variety of forms. Once I pick one I try to follow along as the instructor (who is probably annoying with a big smile and endless enthusiasm and support while I feel like I am going to die) tells me what to do in what, at times, seems like a foreign language. They name moves that I have no idea what are and once I finally get the hang of it they are on to something else. They tell me to use muscles I don’t know where are to do things I didn’t know they could do and often have no idea how to go about telling those muscles to do any of it. And that is all besides the things I just can’t do because of the afore mentioned fat and out of shape thing. I am making some progress though. I have learned several things. The first thing I learned is that I don’t like to exercise and I’d much rather be on the sofa with a book. I’ve learned that when you are clumsy and uncoordinated exercising with the use of dance is not as much fun as they make it look on the cover. I’ve learned that a 3 pound weight is a lot heavier than it looks. I’ve learned that if I check the scale every day I’m going to get discouraged so it’s better not to look. And I’ve learned that Gatorade is my friend. I have managed to get to the point where I can be in almost constant motion for 20 minutes altogether without keeling over. Right now that is just enough of a victory to keep me going. Someday I hope to be able to say that all my clothes are loose, or at least that I can actually do a sit-up without pulling up on my legs or pushing off the floor with my hands. Of course it might help if I didn’t go straight from the crunches to eating a bowl of ice cream. Maybe I’ll try that technique next.